Future's Past Backwards

Adam Sykes

 

 

 

 

 

 

CONTENTS

 

DRIFT

DIST-ANS

FAULT

PAINS(TAKE)

POSSIBLE

STUMBLE SUBLIME

CAST

PASSING

HOLLOW

OVER

A FRAGMENT

ONE STEP

TAINT

PAST BACK

THOUSAND MEMORIES

APPOSE

BLIND

WROUGHT

PENDULUM

UNITY

A GODLIKE VOICE

FAULT²

ADRIFT

AS IF

MISSING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DRIFT

 

 

Falsehood

truth, worn bare

 

a torn, untouched

            terror

 

unknown

the disillusionment

            stolen

 

as a half heard, untold moment

eroding

            slow motion decay

 

the soul, ripped

from breath

 

exhaled and forced

from intake into

            extinction

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DIST_ANS

 

 

Far

flung

loss

 

fear

left

longing, hanging

 

as close, is too close

for discomfort

 

picking at the needle prick

of uncertainty

 

as distance

distorts

the answer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAULT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAINS(TAKE)

 

Wound and scar:

the open doors

into niche memories

on flesh thin flakes

 

the autumnal eczema itch

of memory: the dark remains

as an eternity

never lost:

 

I frequent these rooms

involuntarily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

POSSIBLE

 

Time slips from

second to minute

 

loss of focus, glides

 

into days

 

Passing from moment

to moment  to endure

silent echoes of years

 

gone

 

As loss is found

in times, in emptiness

and the fear

 

of what’s

left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STUMBLE SUBLIME

 

 

No time left

forward, footfall by footfall

 

into dark

 

Sight blind

motionless

 

The march takes us

back; forwards

into unconsciousness

 

missing the way,

we stumble on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAST

 

This possessive

ruined: derelict

 

dispossessed

item of nothing:

 

iron cast

vacuum.

 

My hope:

a cup empty

 

The dry, husk

left to wonder

 

it falls to this

an arid landscape

 

on which

to grow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PASSING

 

Lost, soulless

shimmer and bright

vermillion

undulation

coagulates as

 

blood through vein

 

through air:

journeys end

as silence forms

into a scream

 

and the whisper left

 to hang in retrospect

as the blood drips

 

the floor soaked

as time passes

 

slowly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOLLOW

 

The facts

torn apart

 

Strewn

as earth across coffin:

 

time thrown through air

scattered

 

The fact

remains

lost

to thought: the empty word

 

forced into form

and left standing

 

pored over, deliberate

and no more,

no less

just fact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OVER

 

Todays hallow breath

the last ricochet

of oxygen: for words

 

a withering influx

before the final consumption.

We breathe again:

 

intake into output

through lips dry:

split, scabbed and pained

 

we speak words to fuel

the rotted remains

of urgency

 

and dictate the response.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A FRAGMENT

 

One moment

paused, captured

split into the puzzle

 

piece

by

peace

 

each a maze:

a labyrinth

of possibles

 

each a minute

dystopia:

a hell in DNA

 

formed in a fragment

our time

ended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE STEP

 

Static

solitary

distant

it is,

what it is

 

As we wander

into territory

never ventured

 

Those paths blocked

the alcoves

of histories

 

the torment

turned outward

 

The distraction

becomes diversion,

becomes all

 

we wander through

our paths

remembered

 

this the reality

of the missed

and the mistake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TAINT

 

Silence

pindrop

vulnerable

 

volume

amplified

as each hertz

describes

each hurt

 

side step

decision

into silence

 

the mute blind

becomes the

norm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAST BACK

 

Past

 

gone

 

given away

 

watching through

fast forward

the barbed wire backstory

 

each memory

lands like a snowstorm

 

slo mo cascades:

each flake forms

a loss explored

 

as impact explodes

the instant:

remembered

 

past

 

backwards

 

a history ingrained

 

in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THOUSAND MEMORIES

 

Taken here

flicker, switch

made unmade

flesh and desecrated

 

desert

my real

 

the fantasy of

the everyday

 

normal and known

a thousand memories

bright, dark, always

 

each one cuts

and blinds

me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

APPOSE

 

Cacophonous

ice pick, point sharp

 

noise of nothing

 

every bellowed blast

as reply echoes reply

 

into the days

 of silence

 

in muted disgust

we are all

 

culpable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BLIND

 

Filters on

rose tint

fantasy

 

we look beyond

into abjection

 

This landscape:

once fertile

now just dirt

 

diseased

disowned

 

filters on

we see only

what we want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WROUGHT

 

Distant

retina burnt real:

constraint

 

The reminder

no wrought iron want

just needs must

and distance

 

Memories full

reminds

of the distaste

and dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PENDULUM

 

Times

there is hope

blind anchored

held as a beacon

 

At time

we are nothing

but masks to cover

emptiness

 

The shallow needs

unsure, soulless

left only self

 

masked, missed

forgotten

 

the failure

forged,

at times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UNITY

 

Cold slur

into one or another

 

each slip from

loss to lost

gives plaintiff

appeal

 

A word uttered

in rebellion

is still unsung

 

if unheard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A GODLIKE VOICE

 

Crawling scratch

endlessly I move

to the unknown

 

the cricket shift rattle

of deathless motionless

 

a godlike voice

magnified into the

crawling, scratch

 

of flesh burnt

and slowly repaired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAULT²

 

The whole

 

erode

 

loss

 

Disturbed

withered

 

worn

silt slide

 

manifest

 

down to

 

nothing

 

again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ADRIFT

 

Blink tears

 

as water marks

made

 

and cleansed

amidst the magic

of glosses sheen removed

 

keeping, in sanctuary

 

the end

as everything is cast away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AS IF

 

Mistake

 

a fault

 

error erratum

 

pinprick wounds echo:

 

needle mark made

in chasms, as ever

they engulf us all

 

as if knitted together

the ennui of care

salves the conscience

again

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MISSING

 

 

Drifts

erosion

sighs heavy

over

lasts longing

amidst

torn hearts

 

eradicated

 

 

 

 

 

 

© adam sykes 2020

 

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